Distraction-Proof® Advisor Ideas

When it comes to talking to strangers, the fear can be real. Here are some ways to add calming perspective.

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When I was swimming, I was often interviewed. One time when I was asked about how I think when I was training, I mentioned what goes through my mind is that swimmers in front of me need to stay out of my way, or get behind me, or get out of my lane because I’m coming through. That’s how I’m thinking when I’m training. Except that never got written. What got written was, when I’m training, I’ll either swim over them, they need to stay behind me or get out of my lane. It made me look like an arrogant jerk. I didn’t say those things in that context. But, regardless, according to 400 or 500,000 people who read that article and then formed an opinion of me, that was me. That was it. I was never going to get the chance to say or be something different in their minds.

When we’re prospecting and talking to people for the first time, it can feel daunting. It can make us fearful to approach them. I want to encourage you to move forward in this process, remembering whereas I was going to be exposed to 400,000 people, you’re only going to be meeting and talking to one person at that time.

And they may say flat-out, no, not interested. But don’t take that as a huge rejection of you. It can be a fearful step you’re taking. But it is also a courageous step that you’re taking because you’re moving forward. Remember if there’s a flat-out no, don’t take that against you personally; you don’t know that they’ve had anargument with a spouse that morning, or you don’t know that they have twin babies who have kept them up all night. You don’t know. You’re just the recipient of that response for how they’re feeling at the moment. It’s nothing personal.

Now, that doesn’t necessarily make the next time feel easier. I remember my next interview when I read that article: I was a little bit wary of what I was going to say to the reporter. But, nevertheless, I communicated clearly. I made things quite clear about how I wanted things written, and it went great. To move through these times, acknowledge the fact that there is some fear there, but don’t let that paralyze you. It’s one conversation. And the more you practice this, and the more you get comfortable doing this over and over and over again, you’ll amaze yourself with how much of a conversationalist you’ll become as you listen to what that person’s telling you. Because, eventually, you’ll become that right person they needed to hear from right then, right there.

I get it—all three of these are ways that we want to be endearing. We want to sound friendly. We want to break down barriers. We want to get rid of any obstacles in the way. But, you’re the specialist, and using these three verbiage clusters puts obstacles in the way of people hearing exactly what you are trying to communicate.

So, to become a more effective communicator and overcome these fears,

1. Consider it. Consider the fact that it is a little daunting, that it is a little frightening.


2. Be honest: the easiest thing to do right now would be to not do it at all. And that would actually feel good because it would feel safe, but it’s not going to build up your business.


3. Engage. I know that’s far easier said than done. But believe me, when you’ve done it once, twice, 20 times, you’ll learn as you go.

You’ll become far more confident, and you really will meet that number of ideal clients who desperately need to hear from you.

I look forward to bringing you another Distraction-Proof Advisor Idea next week.