Distraction-Proof® Advisor Ideas

Is it anxiety or nerves? Understanding the difference matters.
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People often ask me what I miss most about competing at top-level sport, and they assume that it’s going to be racing or being on the medal dais. My answer surprises them: it’s the night before a great event. I miss that the most because I would be lying in bed—I vividly remember doing this coming up to my Olympic final—and I would be dreaming about what tomorrow was going to look like, getting super nervous because I was prepared. I knew I was ready to deliver a great performance, and I miss those nerves. I miss the nerves of being ready, of being prepared, knowing that the occasion and opportunity is coming my way. Now, I just need to execute; that’s all that’s left.

Nerves are a good sign. On the other hand, anxiety is not. Anxiety can be debilitating, and it comes from your not being prepared. When you’re nervous, while you’re not guaranteed success, at least you know that you’ve got what it takes to deserve the right to expect success.

Anxiety comes from knowing you don’t deserve success because you have not prepared to the degree where you can expect success; you’re not ready, and you have every reason to be anxious. I remember back, unfondly, to many school exams where I was a little anxious because I wasn’t prepared. When I think about the exams I did best on, I was still nervous, but I was ready. I knew I’d done the work.

As an advisor, you want nerves. I loved going into meetings being a little on edge, being a little nervous, knowing I was ready to respond well, but feeling those butterflies because I was excited about the opportunity. I knew I couldn’t control the outcome—that’s fine—but I had earned the right to expect success. I’d done the work; I knew how the meeting was going to go. I was ready for questions and knew how to respond to the ones advisors get asked all the time. I was ready if a meeting went down a rabbit trail: I knew how to bring it back. I was never anxious.

You want to make sure you do have some nerves before an important event. I’ve gone out on stage thousands of times, and, still, every time I get a chance to do a webinar for a group of advisors or go on stage and speak to advisors, there’s still a few nerves there. I welcome them; it’s a good sign. It shows me I care about what I’m about to do.

So, to reduce anxiety,

1. be prepared. Make sure you’re prepared for the occasion coming up.


2. acknowledge the nerves. This is a sign you care about the opportunity ahead of you and that you are ready.


3. welcome the nerves. They are a part of big opportunities. You are ready to lay down a great performance because you’ve done the work; you’re prepared for what’s going to happen. Success is never guaranteed, and that’s okay: you’ve done the work and so, you’ve earned the right to expect success.

Don’t confuse nerves with anxiety. Be prepped. Let the person you are speaking with see you are prepped, and let them see you are a professional who knows exactly what needs to happen next.

I look forward to bringing you another Distraction-Proof Advisor Idea next week.