Distraction-Proof® Advisor Ideas

Use these three words to quickly and easily show people you care about a lot more than just their money.
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The three words are, “and their families.” Especially if you have a niche strategy of ideal client types you are pursuing, you want to add “and their families” at the end of explaining who you work with. When you’re talking with someone, even if they might not be an ideal prospect for you, in the course conversation about who and how you help, let them know, “I work primarily with airline pilots and their families,” or “I work primarily with engineers and their families.” Get those additional few words in.

I just started reading James Burrows’ book Directed by James Burrows. He was the director of great shows like Cheers, Taxi, Friends, and The Mary Tyler Moore Show, just to name a few. In this book he writes, “Taxi featured a family of unrelated people trying to get out of a dead-end joint into a better life. Cheers was a family of people that met regularly at a bar where they could share their stories. Friends was a formed family trying to help one another navigate young adulthood.” So when you mention “and their families,” you’re identifying to that person that you want to connect with them and the most important people in their lives.

You also want to say this to give yourself the entrée to ask them about their family, should this person want to meet with you at your office. As a jail chaplain, I learned a load about inmates through hearing about their backgrounds and the influences in their lives (sometimes what led them to jail) through understanding their family’s dynamics. Once I learned about their family history, a lot of things fell into place for many of these inmates. The impact of that history was often sad, but the results of the family experiences they shared with me often provided much better understanding and insight into their behaviors and choices.

When you are talking with a potential client about money, you’ve got to let them know you need to find out about their family because those dynamics will often directly impact how they view their finances and plans for the future. To do this most effectively,

1. Dial in the language: “and their families.” Get comfortable saying that.


2. Use it. When you say “and their families,” then you’ve opened that gate. You’ve got that entrée into asking them questions about their family. What is their frame of reference? What have they seen lived out by their parents that has influenced how they think about money? Once you mention the family dynamic, you’ve given yourself the opening to ask them important questions about their history and how that impacts how they view money.


3. Think about this yourself. You also bring opinions and approaches that are emblematic of your experiences with your family. Look at these instances that are especially positive and then learn how to infuse your own familial stories into your conversations with new clients, demonstrating that family holds a special place in your life. It’s important for you also—just like it is for them—and you need answers about their family life.

Do this most effectively and connect even faster with a brand new client.

I look forward to bringing you another Distraction-Proof Advisor Idea next week.