Distraction-Proof® Advisor Ideas

AdviserBlast – Quick Tips to Accelerate Your Practice

In this issue: Are you focusing more on speaking than you are on being heard and understood?

How are you affecting people around you? The world is a turbulent place right now! When you meet with clients or interact with colleagues, are you a voice of reason, providing relief and stable footing to others, or does your approach simply add to the noise?

This week while I was taking the ferry to see a client, I was intrigued by four businessmen engrossed in lively conversation about politics and business. Their talk focused on the financial services industry, the Goldman hearings, and the overall business climate.

What I found most interesting was watching and listening to the person who said the least, yet was listened to the most.

He’d listen as one of his fellow travelers threw out a comment and then continue listening as the other two chimed in, often speaking over the top of each other. They would become more animated and grow louder, before finally turning to this individual and asking him what he thought.

He spoke softly and confidently. It was fun watching how calm the others became when he spoke. Making eye contact with each of them, he’d say why he thought the way he did. He did not give in to the temptation to talk over any of the others and would stop talking when one of the others interjected while he was speaking. He’d wait until they were finished, and then complete his initial thought in the same thoughtful tone, calm manner, and confident cadence with which he’d started.

The others would listen and then begin dispensing their opinions again, reacting to what they just heard. Before you knew it, the discussion would build to a crescendo again.

As opinionated – even articulate – as the other three seemed, I sat there thinking that if I wanted advice or feedback, I would turn to the fourth man. He was calm enough to think carefully and was clearly not swayed by emotion. He didn’t even seem to feel the need to make his opinion heard. Yet, because of his approach, he was heard over everyone else, and others actually considered what he said.

How are prospects hearing you? How are your clients hearing you?

It’s easy to get caught up in what we’re saying instead of concentrating on what others are hearing. If you’ve been around children long enough, you know exactly what I mean!

Are you focusing more on speaking than you are on being heard and understood?
To help others truly hear you:

• Be willing to actually listen to what someone else is saying. You don’t have to react immediately with your take on a situation. You may be amazed what you hear!

• Make a point of not speaking over others. Once you start paying attention to this, you may be surprised how often you are tempted to talk and what a big difference it can make when you don’t!

• Don’t raise the volume of your voice to be heard over others speaking. Stop. When there is silence, you can then speak calmly and confidently.

As the old adage goes, “You have two ears and one mouth…use them in proportion!”

Listen well and speak softly,
Paul

Copyright Paul Kingsman 2010

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As a motivational speaker and executive coach, Paul Kingsman helps financial services professionals become great listeners so they can hear the truly important things! He can give you practical tools to overcome distractions and stay focused so you can get the money you need, clients you want, and time to do what you love.

Combining his experiences as an Olympic medalist and his background as an adviser for Morgan Stanley and Wells Fargo, Paul understands how to stay focused over the long haul, as well as the unique business challenges faced by advisers, and equips them to build the businesses they desire.

To find out more about how he can equip you or your team to achieve your own Split Second Success® through his presentations or executive coaching, visit paulkingsman.com/coaching or email him at Paul@PaulKingsman.com

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