Loving to win is different from hating to lose.

While hating to lose might be just as strong an emotion, it shouldn’t be the dominant thought. There are typically more ways to lose than to win, so by focusing on wanting to win, you have the greatest potential outcome by making that your leading and dominant desire.

Hating to lose might feel like a common default, one just as effective as loving to win, but don’t rush there. The mind thinks more clearly when it’s in a happily expectant state relative to the most desired outcome than it does when it’s in a state of preservation (I’d love to win vs. I must not lose.) I swum with guys who were more afraid of losing than winning. This had them focusing more on other people than themselves. By so doing, even when you’ve beaten people, you haven’t necessarily done your best. While you might beat a fellow competitor, what if they had a bad day? What if they had a great day, but you had the capacity to perform even better than you did, yet tied your result to their result?

See why this is to be avoided?

In sales or sports, this can quickly lead to people thinking they have a ‘B’ game. This is obviously a huge mistake. If you build a habit that doesn’t bring out the best in you simply because you were more focused on avoiding losing than aspiring to win, you can soon get sloppy, complacent and ultimately reckless.

When I’m speaking to audiences, I tell them that I’ve never gone into a race wanting to beat anyone; I couldn’t control the other competitors or what they did. But I also never went into a race wanting anything less than to win. Winning and beating people are two different things; it’s a subtle but important difference that often times people miss.

Don’t predicate your performance on others.

-Paul